Gossip is like a contagious virus that maliciously infects society’s people. Some people partake in the act without realizing that they are. The fact remains, however, that if you engage in any casual or idle talk about someone, without a constructive purpose, you are gossiping. Rumors and malicious intent are often the fire sticks of gossip. They negatively affect those at the center of it and can destroy careers, reputations and lives. Let us explore why people gossip and how to deal gossip about you.
Firstly, people gossip for the following reasons: 1. Jealousy This is the number one reason why people gossip because jealous people use gossip as a weapon to spread hate and defamation. Insecurity and lack of self-confidence are the driving forces behind this behavior. A secure and confident person does not resent not having what another does and therefore, does not have to sink to this low level of attack.
2. Coward’s Revenge When someone does not have the courage to face someone else about an issue that angers them, they resort to gossiping behind that person’s back. Their goal is to do as much reputational damage as possible, in order to get revenge. This, however, is a fool’s solution, as no attempt is ever made to resolve the issue and the target may be oblivious that there is an issue, while the revenge seeker seethes in anger, lowers themselves and is a coward.
So much more can be accomplished by facing the individual, even if it is just closure from knowing that you tried to resolve the issue.
3. Inferiority Complex or Low Self-Esteem Some people criticize and judge others in a desperate attempt to make themselves look better, in the eyes of their audience. People who resort to gossiping for this reason feel inferior to others and suffer from low self- esteem. By putting others down and pointing out their flaws, in trying to make themselves look better, they only increase in bitterness, while decreasing in self-worth and friends.
4. Acceptance There are people who need the approval of others so badly, that they will go to any means of getting it. If it means throwing away their integrity and morals, so be it. Unfortunately, many of us never embrace the fact that the people worth having around are the people who will accept you completely for who you are.
There are many ways to deal with gossip, but few maintain your self-respect. The top three are mentioned here. 1. Be good. Similar to the saying that you should love your enemy because it will drive them crazy, in this method, you supply them with positive information about your life. The more positive material you supply them, the more jealous they become. You will effectively be letting them destroy themselves, with their own negative emotions.
2. Face Them If the gossiping has gotten to a level that is too seriously damaging and hurtful for you to ignore, do not shrink back. Approach and confront them about the issue. Acknowledge that there is a possibility that no real resolution will come out of the confrontation and by all means, do not use any form of violence. The judicial system allows for slander and libel lawsuits.
3. Inform them of the facts as to why people engage in gossip.
This simple act will make them feel exposed, like you know their secret insecurities and that they have no real power over you, frustrating them to their core.
4. No Matter What-Keep it Moving
No one has the right to steal your joy or peace of mind. If you have done your best to deal with the gossiping, the healthiest thing you could do is just forget about it and move on with your life. Build a good reputation and let people discover who you really are by your actions and not by what is said about you. Choose to take the high road and be the bigger person.
Sooner or later, they’ll be too far behind for you to notice anymore.
Firstly, people gossip for the following reasons: 1. Jealousy This is the number one reason why people gossip because jealous people use gossip as a weapon to spread hate and defamation. Insecurity and lack of self-confidence are the driving forces behind this behavior. A secure and confident person does not resent not having what another does and therefore, does not have to sink to this low level of attack.
2. Coward’s Revenge When someone does not have the courage to face someone else about an issue that angers them, they resort to gossiping behind that person’s back. Their goal is to do as much reputational damage as possible, in order to get revenge. This, however, is a fool’s solution, as no attempt is ever made to resolve the issue and the target may be oblivious that there is an issue, while the revenge seeker seethes in anger, lowers themselves and is a coward.
So much more can be accomplished by facing the individual, even if it is just closure from knowing that you tried to resolve the issue.
3. Inferiority Complex or Low Self-Esteem Some people criticize and judge others in a desperate attempt to make themselves look better, in the eyes of their audience. People who resort to gossiping for this reason feel inferior to others and suffer from low self- esteem. By putting others down and pointing out their flaws, in trying to make themselves look better, they only increase in bitterness, while decreasing in self-worth and friends.
4. Acceptance There are people who need the approval of others so badly, that they will go to any means of getting it. If it means throwing away their integrity and morals, so be it. Unfortunately, many of us never embrace the fact that the people worth having around are the people who will accept you completely for who you are.
There are many ways to deal with gossip, but few maintain your self-respect. The top three are mentioned here. 1. Be good. Similar to the saying that you should love your enemy because it will drive them crazy, in this method, you supply them with positive information about your life. The more positive material you supply them, the more jealous they become. You will effectively be letting them destroy themselves, with their own negative emotions.
2. Face Them If the gossiping has gotten to a level that is too seriously damaging and hurtful for you to ignore, do not shrink back. Approach and confront them about the issue. Acknowledge that there is a possibility that no real resolution will come out of the confrontation and by all means, do not use any form of violence. The judicial system allows for slander and libel lawsuits.
3. Inform them of the facts as to why people engage in gossip.
This simple act will make them feel exposed, like you know their secret insecurities and that they have no real power over you, frustrating them to their core.
4. No Matter What-Keep it Moving
No one has the right to steal your joy or peace of mind. If you have done your best to deal with the gossiping, the healthiest thing you could do is just forget about it and move on with your life. Build a good reputation and let people discover who you really are by your actions and not by what is said about you. Choose to take the high road and be the bigger person.
Sooner or later, they’ll be too far behind for you to notice anymore.